You wouldn't think its necessary to have a friends only lj,
but Ive learned my lesson.

Comment to be added.

& my Doe wear her head inside out
& my Doe know that I don't mind, though.

Hm..well, last night was certainly interesting and i definitely don't know what to make of it so hlkjghflkadg
I went over to kyles/dave's at like 7:30 n woke Dave up because he's lazy and we kissed and he said he was happy i was there.
Mortal Kombat challenges always leave me the victor:) haha. but then we got bored of that and just sat around fucking talking for a few hours.
He said " I think you should stay here with me tonight" and event hough i had to fucking work at 9 in the morning I did because he is fucking cute and i am fucking crazy.
nothing really happened, we stayed up talking for mad long, smoked a blunt, kissed.
he fell asleep around two and i was up until like 4:30. He woke back up for a while and i was safe and warm with him.
dreams and reality are kind of hard to tell apart at this point
but i'm pretty sure he told me he loved me
and i said
no you don't
because he doesn't.


and he said
" i know but your smile is so fucking pretty i swear i could"

or something like that.

and it made me smile and its all ive been able to think about
what sucks is i dont feel like i can reallyt ell anyone about it because its dave, and he has a rather terrible reputation but he's not as bad as he sounds. I think he's got a good heart, just shoddy luck and a bad case of kleptomania.


also. out of money weed and cigarettes.
whats a gal to do.

can't stop listening to bright eyes.
can't get my head straight.
can't get anyone out of my head.

I'm completely aware getting involved with dave is a really bad idea, but at the very same time, i do not give a fuck anymore. Its not like i'm even CAPABLE of investing emotion into anyone anymore. It really sucks actually, i miss feeling human. I miss feeling whole.

someone shoot me please.

i think I'm caught in a landslide and i don't have the energy to fight it.
i often feel like i might just explode, run away, or spontaneously have a mental breakdown.

you know, its gonna be alright.
but sometimes its pretty difficult to be optimistic.

I have too many thoughts to even write them down coherently, and I don't think this properly articulated what I feel.

but I guess it was worth a shot.

i broke up with colin over the weekend, hwo impressive, it lasted like a month.
Thats so ridiculous considering the amount of time i spent thinking i wanted him.
turns out I didn't but at least i'm not lingering in a relationship i hate anymore.

i've been talking to scott quite a bit and spent all weekend with him til like 5 in the morning, and last night he was here til midnight. we lose track of time and i love it. he makes me smile, he's refreshing and quite handsome i think. Who knows where that will go, if anywhere at all.

school is such a fucking miserable occurrence. I feel like ripping out my hair and i just cant wait to get the fuck out of here

WHERE IS MY MIND?!?!?!?!??!?

mind your temper.